Between Now and Then

Gahhh I haven't touched this blog for too long. It's already end of April already... I failed again at keeping consistency... And OMG it's end of APRIL! One more month till I can fly over to Korea land and reunite with some of my dearest friends and have some fun :D


Being here in Taiwan for this long period of time has its perks and drawbacks.. One good thing is definitely having a lot of free time on my hands to do things I want to do, without having to worry about school work. But then at the same time, because there is no school work or a set schedule to follow, it has become hard to feel motivated to do anything at the same time. When I was still in school, I would often want it to be finished soon and go on a break. But now this extensive period of break has made me somewhat lazy and less motivated than before. Because I will be going to university in Taiwan there are some things I need to review and catch up. But to study on my own has been a little hard since there is no strict supervision - it's all up to me when I want to study and how much I want to study. I've been trying to hard to stay focus during the day to go through textbooks and stuff. I'm getting a little better at it.. So hopefully I can actually learn something and keep my brain from becoming useless for resting too much.


It feels a little strange to be away from friends physically for this long. It's hard to find and acquaint with people around my age at this time around here because everyone is still in school and most people would be cramming for the national exam so they can get into their dream school. So I guess you could say that it feels lonely sometimes. But then again, since I've been playing tennis and taking a dance class I still interact with people outside. So it's not like I'm becoming a total hermit or anything... :P And I'm sure once I find a good church to go to I'll be able to get to know more people.


Speaking of going to church... it actually hasn't been going smoothly as I've imagined. My family would sometimes have plans for Sundays so I would miss the chance to go to church. Despite the fact that I haven't been going to church regularly, I still keep a routine of doing devotionals every day to help me stay focused. I went to a church service on Easter Sunday morning in my neighborhood. The church is actually quite huge and supposedly quite famous. Although the message was good, but there was something that was just really different and I just couldn't feel the passion burning inside me like I have felt before from going to church services. I don't think it was the language difference.. in fact, I think it's just the atmosphere and the way the sermon was given. I felt like the sermon was basically read off of a script and really didn't have that much power to move me... I don't think this is the right attitude but that was just what I felt at the time... And so after that time, I decided to go on the internet and look for other churches that may have an environment that would suit me better. I finally found one in downtown Taipei, and they actually offer English worship service so I was quite excited. I don't know how it's going to turn out but I decided I will go check it out. It's a little far from my neighborhood, but heck, if it means being able to feel that passion again it doesn't matter how far it is I will still go. Hopefully nothing will suddenly come up this coming Sunday so I can actually go...


It's been quite relaxful these past few months not having to worry about school, and with all this free time I started to think about the future. How am I going to adjust to college? Language difference, curriculum difference, making new friends, etc. But I realized I shouldn't worry too much because God will open up a path for me. Change always seems a little scary at first because no one likes to step out of his or her comfort zone. But by dropping the worry and really just try to enjoy life as it is right now, I think it's easier to feel content and happy, at least it is for me anyway. To be honest, though, picturing and looking forward to the future do provide me with some motivation - like thinking about what I could do when I visit Korea in a month.. gets me quite excited :]