I just recently read the book The Secret by Rhonda Bryne. I am usually not a hardcore reader, but because my sister had to do a reading journal for school and she borrowed that book, I decided to check it out after she finished it. It turned out to be an awesome book. Although it was published a long while ago and has been popular since, I never actually had the chance to read it. The book focuses on inspiring people to be more positive with our thoughts. The so called "secret" to a great and content life is basically the positive energy we bring to the world through our thoughts. It actually has some detailed examples on how to approach it but because I read it in the Chinese translated version I would have to translate the content back again myself for writing a review on my blog...
I decided to search on the internet today trying to find a bookstore that sells the original English version. While searching, I found the newer edition that was published more recently called The Secret to Teen Power by Paul Harrington, and apparently it is written in the way that can communicate the idea of the "secret" to the younger generation better. I thought it'd be a good idea to read the more "accessible" version for teens and share about it afterward so I went ahead to the bookstore and bought it.
In the next few days I'll try to finish this new book and share some of the content on my blog. The Secret was a great book so I believe this newer teen version wouldn't be any less amazing. I would definitely recommend reading this book. It's good to share this "secret" to a happy life.
Gahhh I haven't touched this blog for too long. It's already end of April already... I failed again at keeping consistency... And OMG it's end of APRIL! One more month till I can fly over to Korea land and reunite with some of my dearest friends and have some fun :D
Being here in Taiwan for this long period of time has its perks and drawbacks.. One good thing is definitely having a lot of free time on my hands to do things I want to do, without having to worry about school work. But then at the same time, because there is no school work or a set schedule to follow, it has become hard to feel motivated to do anything at the same time. When I was still in school, I would often want it to be finished soon and go on a break. But now this extensive period of break has made me somewhat lazy and less motivated than before. Because I will be going to university in Taiwan there are some things I need to review and catch up. But to study on my own has been a little hard since there is no strict supervision - it's all up to me when I want to study and how much I want to study. I've been trying to hard to stay focus during the day to go through textbooks and stuff. I'm getting a little better at it.. So hopefully I can actually learn something and keep my brain from becoming useless for resting too much.
It feels a little strange to be away from friends physically for this long. It's hard to find and acquaint with people around my age at this time around here because everyone is still in school and most people would be cramming for the national exam so they can get into their dream school. So I guess you could say that it feels lonely sometimes. But then again, since I've been playing tennis and taking a dance class I still interact with people outside. So it's not like I'm becoming a total hermit or anything... :P And I'm sure once I find a good church to go to I'll be able to get to know more people.
Speaking of going to church... it actually hasn't been going smoothly as I've imagined. My family would sometimes have plans for Sundays so I would miss the chance to go to church. Despite the fact that I haven't been going to church regularly, I still keep a routine of doing devotionals every day to help me stay focused. I went to a church service on Easter Sunday morning in my neighborhood. The church is actually quite huge and supposedly quite famous. Although the message was good, but there was something that was just really different and I just couldn't feel the passion burning inside me like I have felt before from going to church services. I don't think it was the language difference.. in fact, I think it's just the atmosphere and the way the sermon was given. I felt like the sermon was basically read off of a script and really didn't have that much power to move me... I don't think this is the right attitude but that was just what I felt at the time... And so after that time, I decided to go on the internet and look for other churches that may have an environment that would suit me better. I finally found one in downtown Taipei, and they actually offer English worship service so I was quite excited. I don't know how it's going to turn out but I decided I will go check it out. It's a little far from my neighborhood, but heck, if it means being able to feel that passion again it doesn't matter how far it is I will still go. Hopefully nothing will suddenly come up this coming Sunday so I can actually go...
It's been quite relaxful these past few months not having to worry about school, and with all this free time I started to think about the future. How am I going to adjust to college? Language difference, curriculum difference, making new friends, etc. But I realized I shouldn't worry too much because God will open up a path for me. Change always seems a little scary at first because no one likes to step out of his or her comfort zone. But by dropping the worry and really just try to enjoy life as it is right now, I think it's easier to feel content and happy, at least it is for me anyway. To be honest, though, picturing and looking forward to the future do provide me with some motivation - like thinking about what I could do when I visit Korea in a month.. gets me quite excited :]
Time to write another entry again... I need to continue writing things in English otherwise my writing ability is going to become worse now that I'm not in school... sigh. Anyways, it's a little hard to think of things to write about when you are lacking inspirations... Well, after thinking for a while I decided today I'll write about arguing... It's something that can often happen between friends and between family members so I figured it's a good topic to talk about.
Arguing involves two sides presenting different beliefs or opinions and trying to convince each other. I think having arguments is not a bad thing as long as emotions are under control, but often we let emotions get in the way and we start getting angry as the arguments continue. "Argue" might not be a good word to describe the situation at that point; I think "quarrel" may be a better word for such situation where anger is involved. Why do we get mad when we talk about different beliefs or opinions? Time to look at my experience and try to come up with an answer...
For me, arguing usually happens between my parents and me and not so much between my friends and me. I actually don't know why that is but somehow there just seems to be more differences between my parents and me to argue about... Anyways, when I argue with my parents, I often fail to control my emotions, and the situation almost always turns into a quarrel instead of a calm discussion. My friends usually see me as easy-going and nice, but somehow I just can't be that way when I talk with my parents about certain issues. In the end we would be back to normal again, but the quarrel would often upset both sides for some duration of time.
I often ask myself afterwards, "why did that make me mad?" When emotions get in the way our judgment becomes blinded. When I argue with my parents, anger almost always can close my mind to different ideas and I would immediately become defensive, not willing to compromise with what they say. What causes this anger to come into the argument in the first place? I think in my case it's the selfish ego that makes me quick to defend myself. Whenever the topic concerns something about me, I would almost always jump straight to defending what I believe is the best for me or what I believe is "right." Although after the argument, or quarrel, I would calm down and see the reasoning behind the arguments and try to understand what my parents were trying to say, it is always hard for me to stay calm to begin with.
I think arguments between my parents and me turn into quarrels because I would often perceive myself as being oppressed in the discussion, and just like nobody wants to be wrong, I would get mad as I try to defend myself even knowing that their argument actually sounds more reasonable. So in the end, it's because of my selfishness and pride that causes me to get emotional and quarrel with them - I think that it's all about me and what I feel, and often refuse to empathize and try to see their perspective. This is a flaw I'm still trying to change. Somehow, I can control my emotions better when arguing with friends but not with my parents. I feel like as if I'm becoming a two-face, having two different standards. These days I've been getting better at controlling my temper when discussing things with my parents, but I would still get emotional sometimes...
With that said, I would say that if we want to prevent arguments from turning into intense quarrels that would upset both sides, we need to be willing to humble ourselves. For me, I get mad arguing because I don't want to sound like I'm giving in. If I just humble myself and be willing to admit that the other argument may be more reasonable than mine, then I probably wouldn't have gotten mad in the first place. By consciously staying calm and listen to the other argument thoroughly, I think we can easily prevent emotional quarrels. Of course, controlling anger can be hard for some people, but once we get better at it we will be able to reduce conflicts.
Arguing is a logical discussion, quarreling is arguing with anger, and anger is an upsetting feeling. Why make yourself upset? Humble yourself and listen to the other person, he/she may not be right but it doesn't hurt to listen to the end and calmly explains your view. It may be hard to control anger, but if we are conscious about it we can prevent a lot of conflicts from happening and maintain a healthy relationship.
For the past few months I've been waiting anxiously for the colleges in the U.S. to release their admission decisions. Way back in November 2009, I was stressed and frustrated trying to come up with good ideas for application essays and all that. After all the hard work I was quite confident about them actually, but perhaps TOO confident thinking that I will at least get into one of the schools I applied to.Well, yesterday was when the last admission decisions came out, and, just like the other ones which came out earlier - rejection.
Now that I think about it, I think I overlooked the fact that applying for financial aid as international student can really put one at a disadvantage. I've always ignored that fact and thought too highly of myself thinking I was THAT good and worthy of getting the aid. Mistake. Pride has blinded me from seeing the reality. And because of that I've been living under this illusion thinking that I WILL get in no matter how intense they claim the competition is. In my mind, I was so sure I was going to go to college in the U.S. I never really cared much about what was happening around me, nor was I interested in planning to settle here in Taiwan as I was convinced I was going to go to the U.S. after this summer. When the final rejections came, I finally realized it wasn't going to happen.
Suddenly everything around me seemed different knowing that I'll be living here for another few years. I started to appreciate the things around me more. For the last two months since I came back from Korea, I had this mindset thinking that this will only be a temporary settlement before I go on to college. And so I never really put much thought into familiarizing myself again with this place. It's kind of funny to see how ridiculous that idea was. After all, Taiwan is where I'm from and where grew up as a kid, and yet I perceived it as a foreign land. I was too focused on the future and overlooked the present I'm living in. It's funny because I didn't focus on the future as in worrying about it, but more like believing it has already happened. And that unrealistic belief has prevented me from really living in the present.
People often say to look to the future. But I think it's more important to live in the present and make it meaningful. I remember this Bible scripture from Proverbs 3:5-6 saying
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."
And I think I was kind of wrong in applying it to my life. I did believe that everything will work out in the future, but I didn't let go of the selfish mindset - I thought that promising future meant I will go to colleges in the U.S., which was what I wanted. As I reexamined my heart, I realized by thinking that way I was actually NOT letting God take control because I've already set the future for myself instead of waiting to see what God really wants for me. From then on I came to the realization that I need to really live in the present and do what I should do to live a meaningful life NOW. Yes there will be a promising future but what it will look like we won't know until God shows it to us. So we have to make every day count, and live a meaningful life because every day is a blessing and gift.
Now that God has revealed to me (or rather, hinted me) what His plan for me might look like in the near future, I am going to start living in the present and make an effort to make it meaningful. Time to start really settling in. This is going to be my home for the next few years. This near future wasn't exactly what I planned for, but it's God's plan for me. So it's time for me to accept and follow this path. However disappointing it was getting rejections, it doesn't matter anymore because I know there is going to be a promising future, and this time I know better not to selfishly presume my future; God will take care of it, just follow.
So today out of random I sort of just decided to start making a blog of my own. I've been thinking a lot about myself as I reflect on my past experiences and my life right now, and writing blogs to share doesn't seem like a bad idea. I feel like it is the right thing to do to share with people the joy and things I've learned from experiences.
Some may wonder, who am I to talk about LIFE when I'm just a guy turning 18 in like.. 3 months? True, I haven't lived as long as some people have and probably don't have enough "real world" experiences yet. But I want to start sharing about my perspectives on life and also write about things that I find interesting in. Now that I will be turning 18 pretty soon, life is going to move on a new path with more possibilities. Writing blogs can help me organize my thoughts and help me reflect on my experiences, and it doesn't hurt sharing with people. So why not?
Hence, I've named my blog "Journey of PYJ: Living a life filled with fun, peace, and passion." I want to share about my experiences in life. The more I reflect on it the more I'll be able to share with people.
And this is my first step towards that goal.
